All American Roadtrip
by MidnightBlueDragon
Summary: Atobe drags the team off to the United States to visit every famous, semi-famous, and not really famous city. Enough said. Japan's had enough, time to drive America crazy.
1. Tokyo, Japan

**Disclaimer: i don't own anything......**

**Hyotei crack! Muhahahaha! I've been wanting to write this for a long time, okay maybe two weeks but still! I hope you like! PLease review and tell me what you think!**

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Destination 1: Tokyo

"Ore-sama does not understand why it took all of you so long to get here," Atobe tsked as he looked at his team who sat in a bunch of chairs panting like hell.

"Well, you only told us this morning," Yuushi panted while clutching his heart.

"And told us to be here at twelve sharp or we would be kicked off the team," Mukahi added, barely breathing.

"What kind of idiot does that?" Shishido demanded. He looked like wanted to kill Atobe but wanted to pass out at the same time. It was quite an interesting combination.

"Where the hell are we going, anyways?" Hiyoshi asked as he calmly reclined in his chair.

"Ore-sama is glad you asked. We are go-" Atobe smirked but was interrupted as he was about to make his grand speech.

"How the hell are you not tired?" Shishido yelled, trying to kill the second year but was held back by Ootori.

"Because, sempai," Hiyoshi smirked, "I used my limo to get here instead of running here like idiots, or should I say, you guys."

The whole team (minus Hiyoshi and Atobe) sweat dropped and a few of them anime fell.

Mukahi began a rant on how stupid life was. That made him oblivious to the coughs.

"Ahem," an old lady fake coughed to get the pink heads attention. "Ahem. COUGH. Ahem. COUGH!"

"WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP, YOU OLD HAG? Can't you see I'm ranting right now? Gosh, people like you are so inconsiderate!" Mukahi yelled as he finally noticed the old lady.

Her eye's narrowed, "Well, young man, I was just so tired since I'm so old that I wanted to sit down. But there was no seat left."

It was true; the tennis regulars had taken up all the seats.

"Go bother someone else, hag," Mukahi galred.

"Why you!" The old lady whipped out her cane and started beating Mukahi with it.

"OW!"

"You little…"

"OUCH! STOP IT!"

"…bratty…"

"OW, MY HAIR!"

"…rude…"

"STOP IT!"

"…good-for-nothing…"

"AHHHHH! Help!"

"…gay looking…"

"CRAZY LADY ON THE LOOSE!"

"…girl!"

With a final blow, Mukahi fell out of his seat, head first, onto the ground where he lay knocked out.

The lady smiled victoriously and took her victory throne.

Shishido and Yuushi, who were watching the whole scene while not moving a single muscle to help Mukahi, looked at each other and scooted the hell away from the lady.

"Anyways, as ore-sama was saying," Atobe, who was pissed at the lack of attention he was getting, yelled, "We are going on a vacation/ roadtrip across America!"

"SAY, WHAT?!?!"

* * *

**Where will their first stop be?** **Oh the burning question.**


	2. The Florida Keys

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything so please don't sue me!**

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Destination 2: The Florida Keys

"Why the hell are we in the Keys?!" Shishido demanded, annoyed beyond belief.

"Please mind your language, Shishido, this is a kids show remember," Oshitari stated but was completely ignored by the brunette.

"Ore-sama wanted to start our road trip with the southernmost part of the United States," Atobe replied like it was obvious.

"You're an idiot," Shishido glared. "Why couldn't you have just had your damn road trip in Japan?!"

"Because Ore-sama already knows Japan like the back of ore-sama's gorgeous, smooth hand."

A good distance away from the pissed off brunette, the narcissist, and the blunette who was just there were Ootori and Hiyoshi who were attempting to wake up Jirou.

"Jirou-sempai, you have to wake up!" Ootori begged as he shook the sleeping boy.

"If you don't wake up," Hiyoshi threatened, "we'll leave you here."

"zZzZz…"

"Alone…"

"zZzZz…"

"…by yourself…"

"zZzZz…"

"And we won't come back!" When the second year saw that the redhead wasn't even stirring, he grabbed Jirou's collar and began to shake him vigorously. "WAKE UP, DAMMIT!"

"zZzZz…"

Hiyoshi let go of the third year, steaming. Jirou, on the other hand, resumed his nap on his bag.

"Uh, Hiyoshi," Ootori looked around worried, "have you seen Mukahi-sempai?"

His answer came when Kabaji arrived at the scene, carrying Mukahi who was screaming and kicking.

"Let me down! I tell you, I wasn't trying to escape!" The pink head whined.

"Good, we're all here," Oshitari smiled as he and the other two joined the group.

"Can we just go now?" Shishido asked, still pissed.

All of the rest of the regulars turned to Atobe for instructions but it was fruitless.

Atobe was busy admiring his 'gorgeous, smooth' hand. "Wait a minute! Ore-sama has never noticed that wart before! The horror! Kabaji, give me the wart remover cream!"

"Usu," Kabaji dropped and handed Atobe a small bottle.

"Ow!" Mukahi yelped as he rubbed his sore face. When he fell, his face hit the ground first.

Shishido face-palmed, "Why the hell am I stuck with these idiots?"

* * *

"This sucks," Mukahi mumbled, rubbing more sun block on his face. "We came all the way here from Japan to fish!"

"Give it a rest," Shishido ordered, he had given up on complaining three hours. "Your voice is annoying me."

"Ore-sama just caught another fish!" Atobe announced smugly.

"How does he keep getting fish when we can't even get one?" Shishido scowled.

"Maybe the fish just don't like us," Mukahi shrugged.

"Maybe it's because you two are too loud," Oshitari commented from his comfortable seat under the shade where he was reading another sappy romance book.

"Nah, that can't be it," Mukahi waved that theory off. Oshitari shook his head and resumed reading.

"Gekokujou," Hiyoshi smirked, "I just got another catch."

"Shut up!!!" Shishido and Mukahi yelled angrily.

"Maybe, Oshitari-sempai is right, you two are a little too loud," Ootori observed timidly.

"This pie is so good!" Jirou exclaimed. Once Atobe had given the boy Key Lime Pie, he had been too hyper to sleep. "Want some, Ootori?"

"No thank you," Ootori smiled apologetically.

"More for me!" Jirou shrugged before stuffing his face even more.

* * *

"I'm bored," Mukahi whined. He had given up on fishing and now was annoying the heck out of everyone else.

"I know something fun," Shishido suggested, "go jump in a lake."

"Do you see a lake around here?" Mukahi demanded. "Geez, you're such an idiot."

"That's it," Shishido narrowed his eyes. He stood up and grabbed Mukahi's collar, throwing the boy off the boat.

"Ahh! Help me! There are sharks in here!" Mukahi screamed, trying to stay afloat.

"Shishido-sempai, that was mean!" Ootori scolded. However, he didn't do anything to help Mukahi because although he would never admit it, but he too was annoyed at the pink haired boy and thought that he deserved that.

"I don't wanna be shark food!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

* * *

"I hate you all," Mukahi glared as he shivered.

"Ore-sama does not care," Atobe retorted. "Right now ore-sama's biggest dilemma is what to do with all the fish that we caught today."

"Usu."

"Ore-sama thinks Kabaji is right, we should dump them back into the ocean," Atobe agreed.

"Why the hell did you bring us here to fish if you were just going to dump it all back?" Shishido demanded.

"But more importantly, how did you get that all from that one 'usu'?" Mukahi asked but was ignored.

"Excuse, you are Keigo Atobe, correct?" a policeman asked.

"Of course, you may bask in ore-sama's glory," Atobe flipped his hair and he did some weird model poses.

"You're under arrest for illegal fishing."

"WHAT?!" All the regulars yelled.

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**What do you think? Don't forget to leave a review! **


	3. Miami, FL

**Disclaime: i do not own anything.**

**Now on to the story!**

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Destination 3: Miami, FL

"Ore-sama is quite pleased that ore-sama didn't have to waste ore-sama's money on transportation to Miami," Atobe stated as he comfortably leaned against the jail cell wall.

"Atobe, we were thrown in jail," Shishido growled, sending a glare at the captain, "all because you had to drag us here from Japan to freakin fish."

"I really hate to butt into your conversation," Oshitari interrupted. "But I believe that someone is missing."

Everyone looked around, trying to get a head count. "Wait, where is Hiyoshi?" Ootori asked as he miserably sat next to Shishido.

_Flashback_

"_You're under arrest for illegal fishing," the policeman stated._

"_WHAT?!" _

"_You'll never take me alive!" Hiyoshi yelled before jumping into a convertible that was randomly parked next to the dock with his fish. Cackling, he drove off full speed._

_End Flashback_

"Beats me," Mukahi shrugged.

"Excuse me," an orange haired man appeared at the entrance of the cell. "But we need to start the interrogation."

"Interrogation for what now?" Shishido demanded.

"Wait, I know you!" Mukahi suddenly snapped, a giant grin on his face. "You're Horatio Cane from that reality show CSI Miami! I love your show!"

"You are the suspects for the murder case, correct?" The red head, Horatio Cane, looked confused.

"H, that's the wrong cell," a brown haired man came up to Horatio.

"Thank you, Mr. Wolfe," Horatio nodded.

"Oh my god! It's Ryan Wolfe! You're my favorite CSI of all times! When I grow up I want to be just like you!" Mukahi yelled all fanboyish.

"Um, thank you?" Ryan sent the boy a strange look. "Um, I think we should get back to our case now, Horatio."

As the two began to walk away, Mukahi called, "No! Wait! Can I please have an autograph first!?"

"Sure," Ryan replied thinking that there wouldn't be any harm in a simple autograph. "What do you want me to sign?"

"My boxers!" Mukahi answered happily.

"Your boxers?!" Everyone else looked shocked and creeped out.

"Not that one's that I'm wearing!" Mukahi rolled his eyes. "That one is already full with autographs. No, can you sign this pair?" The pink head brought out a clean (looking) pair of white boxers.

"Why the hell do you carry around a pair of extra underwear?" Shishido asked, not really sure if he wanted to know the answer.

"My mommy makes me," Mukahi replied embarrassed. "But it comes in handy all lot of the time!"

"Too much information," Oshitari commented and Atobe nodded in agreement.

Meanwhile, Ryan and Horatio were signing the pink haired idiot's spare boxers.

"You wanna see my other pair?" Mukahi asked but before any one could protest, he pulled down his cargo pants to reveal a pair of white underwear with signatures all over it. "See, I even have Tezuka Kunimitsu's autograph!"

"Eww!" Jirou squealed. Surprisingly, he was awake. Earlier he had said something that the beds of the jails were just too uncomfortable and that's when the rest of the tennis team learned that Jirou was picky.

"Why the hell do you have his autograph!? He's the enemy, you idiot!" Shishido bellowed.

"But more importantly, why didn't you want ore-sama's autograph?" Atobe demanded.

"Because you're not as cool as him!" Mukahi explained like it was obvious.

"True," Oshitari reasoned.

"Ore-sama demands you all to go to hell!" Atobe screamed before beginning to weep in the corner.

"Um, it seems that we have made a mistake," a random policeman appeared out of nowhere and apologized but he didn't really look sorry. He looked like he either wanted to get it over with or wanted to get rid of the retards who were now the occupants of the cell. "You weren't in illegal fishing zone, actually you were in an area that was set aside just for fishing. So in apology, we have decided to give you a tour of the CSI headquarters and all expense paid trip to Disney World."

"WHAT?! When did we agree to that tour?!" Ryan and Horatio demanded. They did not want to deal with a bunch of teenage good for nothings.

* * *

"And this is the room where we keep the brooms," Kyle finished much to his own relief. He didn't know why he got stuck with a bunch of teens that couldn't get along and couldn't stop talking but he knew that he would get back at Ryan for making him do it.

"I have a question," Mukahi raised his hand. "How did Horatio score such a hot woman like your mom?"

"What the hell did you just say?" Kyle narrowed his eyes.

* * *

"Mukahi, only you would manage to get out of jail and thrown in again in one day," Shishido shook his head as he watched the pink head grin like crazy in his jail cell.

"I got sent to jail by Ryan and Horatio!" Mukahi screamed excitedly. "It's like a dream come true! I even got a souvenir!"

"Only you would call a black eye a souvenir," Shishido shook his head again.

"Mukahi, get out of there, ore-sama is bailing you out," Atobe ordered.

* * *

**Destination 4: Orlando, FL**


	4. Orlando, FL

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Disclaimer: I do not own anything!

**I got this idea after reading ****The Irish Baroness's**** review! So thanks. And thank you all for the great reviews! **

**And as always, please enjoy and don't forget to leave a review!**

**~Thanks! **

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Destination 4: Orlando, FL

"OMG!" Jirou yelled gleefully. "I get to meet Mickey Mouse! I'm so excited!"

Currently the seven teens were lined up in front of Disney World, ready to enter the magical land where dreams can come true! They were all excited. Well, most were. And by most I mean only Ootori, Mukahi, and Jirou

"This place is too happy," Shishido shivered as he looked around. "Need…pain…suffering…something evil..." However, his mumbling was quite incoherent so everyone else ignored him but that didn't stop him from getting strange looks from other random tourists there.

Finally, the group managed to get through the gate after waiting in line for an hour. Atobe's 'prowess' proved to be useless in a situation like this.

"Hey," the teens turned to see Hiyoshi clad in shorts and a Disney shirt. He was sipped a very, very large coke.

"Don't drink too much soda; your bones will get ruined! And even worse, you'll have to pee soon and the bathroom line is a mile long!" Ootori warned like that was the biggest problem in the world at that moment.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Oshitari demanded. Everyone looked at him. "What?"

"Nothing, that's just Shishido's line," Mukahi replied.

"Well, Shishido is having another one of his episodes again," Oshitari shrugged, nudging his head in the direction of the brunette who was shaking and muttering some random crap to himself. "So I decided that I would say it for him, since it had to be asked anyways."

"Makes sense," Atobe reasoned. "I think." Then he turned to the orange haired boy, "What are you doing here, boy?"

"But more importantly, why the heck did you escape and leave us to get arrested?" Mukahi demanded. "Granted, I did get to meet HORATIO CAINE and RYAN WOLFE! But, still!"

"I make my escapes alone," Hiyoshi replied like he didn't really even care about the conversation but answered just to get some screen time in. "After all, it is every man for himself."

"OMG!" Jirou yelled for the second time in the course of ten minutes. Apparently, he had ignored the whole conversation to search for his 'idol'. "THERE HE IS! I can see Mickey! I want a picture with him! Can I go get one, Atobe, please, please, PLEASE?!" The orange haired boy begged as he jumped up and down like a little kid. The whole time he was giving his puppy dog face to Atobe.

"If it will stop you from embarrassing Ore-sama, then go! Though I don't know why you want to take a picture with an overgrown mouse when you can have a picture with ore-sama," Atobe ranted.

"Who would want to take a picture with you?" Oshitari smirked as they watched Jirou run off to Mickey.

"Shut up, boy," Atobe glared daggers at the tensai.

"Too…happy…must…get…out…of...here…need….suffering…pain…" Shishido twitched as he looked around like the world was closing on him. "Must…CUT!"

"Sempais," Ootori called out urgently. "Shishido's gone emo!"

* * *

"I can't believe we were banished from Disney World," Mukahi grumbled.

"I didn't even get to meet Goofy," Jirou sniffed in his sleep. He had fallen asleep crying so Kabaji was forced to carry him around now in addition to the heavy make up bag that belonged to Atobe.

"What are you talking about? You see Goofy every day," Shishido, who had recovered, tilted his head towards the pink haired shorty.

"HEY!" Mukahi yelled after like five minutes.

"Dude, that was like slow reaction," Shishido commented.

"Gekokujou," Hiyoshi nodded in agreement.

"Still I can't believe we got kicked out of Disney World because Shishido turned emo and Jirou almost killed Mickey with a hug," Mukahi shook his head. "That's just wrong; I mean who kicks people out of a place because of something like that! It's not like Atobe was scaring people away with his ugliness!"

"Actually, that was the third reason why we got kicked out," Oshitari pointed out.

"Oh."

"Ore-sama is not ugly!"

"Suure," the rest of the regulars rolled their eyes.

"The less we're near that place the better," Shishido added, getting back to the conversation that Mukahi had started with his little rant.

"So where are we going anyways?" Hiyoshi asked like he cared but he didn't.

"Universal Studios!" Atobe announced. "Ore-sama money can get us any where!"

"Not into---," Jirou mumbled in his sleep.

"DON'T EVEN SAY IT, BOY!" Atobe yelled.

"—Disney World----," Jirou finished anyways.

"I LOVE UNIVERSAL STUDIOS!" Mukahi shouted out randomly. Shishido eyed him funny, but decided it would be wise not to say anything.

* * *

"This ride sucks," Hiyoshi complained, crossing his arm and leaning back. The Hyotei tennis team decided to go on the ride_ Earthquake _and that's where they were at the time.

"Psh, that fire looks so fake," Mukahi scoffed.

"Yeah, right, you idiot, it's so real!" Shishido countered.

"Fake."

"Real."

"Fake!"

"Real!"

"FAKE!"

"REAL!"

"IT'S TOTALLY FAKE!"

"HOW THE HECK CAN IT BE FAKE, DAMMIT?!"

"WILL YOU BOTH JUST SHUT IT?!" Atobe barked.

"NO!!!" Both boys yelled.

"I know how we can settle this," Shishido smirked before grabbing Atobe and throwing him into the flame.

"Stop throwing people into fire, Shishido," Oshitari said as he continued to read his novel.

"OW! IT BURNS!" Atobe screamed like a little girl. "Ore-sama's perfect skin! That's going to leave a mark! OUCH!"

"Hmmmm, I guess it was real," Mukahi grinned, high fiving Shishido, who was cackling evilly.

"Pain is good," Shishido said sinisterly.

"Sempais, Shishido has gone emo again!" Ootori called out worried.

"Usu."

"HE SPOKE!" Jirou screamed, just waking up suddenly. "WHAT HAS THE WORLD COME TO!?"

"Muhaha, Atobe's burning," Shishido laughed darkly.

"SEMPAIS, SHISHIDO IS EMO!" Ootori cried.

* * *

**Man, torturing Atobe is SO much fun! **

**Well, anyways, next stop: Tallahassee, FL!**


	5. Tallahassee, FL

**Disclaimer: i don't own anything...**

***sigh* it's snowing outside...i wish i were at a beach right now.**

**ENJOY, and don't forget to review!**

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Destination 5: Tallahassee, FL

Atobe looked seriously pissed. Like _really_ pissed. He looked like he wanted to kill someone. "Where the hell are we?" He asked angrily after taking a deep breath.

"Where does it look like we are?" Shishido demanded, equally as upset. "We're at a freakin beach."

"WHY? Why are we here!?" Atobe demanded, seriously stressed.

"Because, you said you wanted a tan!" Mukahi explained like it was super obvious.

"Ore-sama never meant a tan from REAL SUN! It will damage Ore-sama's beautiful skin!" Atobe retorted as he pulled his large sunhat down to block the sun from his face.

Shishido scoffed, "Like a tanning bed is any better on the skin."

"Actually it is!" Atobe protested and the two began another argument about tanning beds. Two male, high school tennis players arguing about tanning beds. Not weird at all.

"Cho-chan! Yoshi-chan! Come build sand castles with me!" Jirou yelled happily as he grabbed the two second year's hands and dragged them towards an untouched area of sand.

"Jirou-sempai, please calm down," Ootori pleaded as he ran to keep up with the excited red head.

"If I build a stupid castle will you leave me in peace?" Hiyoshi asked darkly.

"YUP!" Jirou nodded bubbly.

"Fine."

Twenty minutes later…..

Shishido stared in awe at the sand castle before him. "Wow….just, wow."

Hiyoshi, who stood to the side of the gawking team, cleaned off the excess sand on his hands with a smirk plastered on his face. "Gekokujou."

"Gekokujou is right," Mukahi murmured; his jaw hanging wide-open.

The second year had created a masterpiece of sand art: a beautiful palace with ten towers, a moat filled with glistening water, a draw bridge that was perfectly carved out of Palm tree bark, a pool, and even a little mini Princess Atobe in one of the towers.

"Not bad," Atobe commented as he examined the castle. "Except you forgot the beauty mark."

Shishido leaned closer to get a better look, "No, Atobe, he got the mole."

"It's a beauty mark," Atobe snapped, crossing his arms. "And no one can capture its beauty."

"Beauty? Dude, it's a mole!" Shishido stared at his captain.

"Beauty mark!"

"Mole!"

"Beauty mark!"

"Mole!"

"Beauty mark!"

"Mole!"

"Beauty mark!"

"Beauty mark!"

"MOLE!"

"Fine, it's a mole." Shishido shrugged indifferently.

"Hah! Ore-sama has won-" Atobe just realized what they agreed on as he saw the smirk on Shishido's lips. "THAT'S IT, SHISHIDO, 200 LAPS!"

"Around what?!"

"THE BEACH, DAMMIT!"

"I hate you," Shishido glared before taking off running.

"Atobe," Oshitari murmured,

"What?" Atobe demanded, turning his icy glare on the blunette who was lying on a beach chair, reading a book.

"Move out of the way, you're ruining my tan," Oshitari replied, ignoring the glare.

Atobe scoffed, "Ore-sama shall not move!"

Oshitari sighed but snapped his fingers. Kabaji came, picked up Atobe, and dumped him to the side.

"Kabaji, you're my manservant!" Atobe whined childishly.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Mukahi suddenly screamed.

"What happened?" Ootori questioned worried.

"A damn bug went into my mouth," Mukahi replied as he began to spit out into the sand.

Jirou crinkled his nose in disgust. "That is not sugee."

"I HATE BUGS!" Mukahi whined, trying to clean his tongue with …sand.

"Your fault for having your pie hole open," Shishido mocked as he ran past Mukahi.

"SHUT UP AND RAN YOUR LAPS!" Mukahi screamed before going back to cleaning the insides of his mouth.

* * *

**What will the next stop be? ;)**


End file.
